Ustroń records (3) Wednesday, July 1 July, summer holidays this year ... last week, rather minorowo feel 'for life. Heavy rains alternating with lightning, thunderstorms called, then again and duchota parnota unbearable. Despite all this, however, did not resign from the wounded "spacero-training." It's true, sometimes I break down your resistance and laziness, but it pays the consequences. I'm coming back after nearly a half hour to my room on the fourth floor of the SCR-u tired, panting and sweating completely. But it is good to be firmly tire. This improves the fit.
Raphael arrived in the afternoon. He brought me some summer clothes, which are brought out of the closet in my Roman peace. After dinner we went for a walk and fraternal dialogues. From Rafal spent many years in one community. We understand, and I personally have great confidence in him. I just trust. In our quasi-philosophical "dialogues about life, in our current situation, at any large family, about our work, our today and tomorrow, next I hope to healthy criticism and attempts to answer the many questions, appeared today on trust as the foundation of any healthy and good interpersonal relationships. It is difficult to build a relationship, friendship, not having someone to trust. However, confidence is not so simple. It takes time for it to arise. I think you might want to take the risk, realizing that it may be that someone whom I trusted, abused or betrayed my trust, or deeply hurt. The realism seems to me very much needed. I also realize that I am capable of breach of trust, and I can hurt. But at the risk of trust just as consistently risking a friendship, relationship with the other, it might be that I came across a priceless treasure, which is a friend, or just a man worthy of my trust. Someone like that can and wants to listen (you-hear), even if there is no ready-made advice on everything. It really is a priceless treasure in the world where to trust, of friendship, sincere and lasting, something so very hard ...
So our fraternal dialog with Rafal on various "our" and common themes, gave back a lot of light and material for personal reflection .
Thursday, July 2 arrived today at noon Martin. Almost that we came up with myself when I walked out of the Hall of bicycle training, and he with a bottle of Ice-Tea coming out of our hospital cafeteria. Martin is a researcher and academic teacher of one of Polish universities. S church, heavily involved, with a love of roman. He came for a weekend in Ustroń, and I am delighted that this time we can spend together. This is the time not so much on tour (because what can be visited in Ustroń, in addition to cafes and restaurants), how much time getting to know each other, building and strengthening relationships. Time trust. I really like Martin for his sincerity to the pain. He can simply say what and how. It helps (me, personally, very much) to correct himself. So a few minutes later we were sitting in the Fiat Marcinkowym downhill to the center of the spa town. In the middle of the road, it turned out that inanimate objects are sometimes cruelly malicious. Muffler fell off in the car ... We stayed in the parking lot and started to ponder what to do. Aneta p. helped. One phone call and in a few minutes he was a mechanic you. Problem almost solved. However, women are more practical and operational from us, theorists. Although we had continue downhill to the town without a muffler, which resulted in the overwhelming noise, finally succeeded in safely park and go on talking, eats the local pizza (and I promised myself that the pizza outside Italy did not go up ...).
Friday, July 3 Day St. Thomas, the apostle. Thomas Didymus = Thomas Duplex. He had to touch it to believe it. He had to check to find out. Other words were not enough to him. It is difficult to judge Thomas. This was, so he had character. Anyway, Risen Jesus allowed him to do so. He came specially to him, he showed the wounds and let them touch. That's what moves me in Thomas, is his confession: "My Lord and my God." Finally he came to that. He came to faith. Did not need more proof. Sam began to testify. Touched. I also touch. Every day. But I believe? Yes, as Thomas? I'm missing a lot. Words alone are not enough. The need for certificates. Even (or until) it. Exactly.
spend free time with Martin. We have many things to tell, to share. On the basis of mutual trust. Knowledge is the beginning of a friendship, then acceptance, and finally the relationship, which eventually becomes the configuration to another. That is in any healthy relationship. Friends meet in poverty, I mentioned that. Martin owe it that even when I, for various reasons did not answer his phone, lying in the hospital, struggling with different moods, he did not give up, but the ring. "How do you throw out the door, go to the window," someone once said to me. Exactly. Do not give for a win, knowing that the other side there is someone who really needs help, talk, man, but temporarily surrendered to the feelings of discouragement, you may despair, loneliness ... there have been incidents. Today at last we have the time to calmly talk not by phone, but "face to face, face to face.
I would go back to the topic of relations, friendship, understanding and acceptance. He returns again and again in my reflections. Maybe it's because I am somehow close that many times he experimented in his life, with varying success, said that the theory about others. I like to take this subject because zapośredniczając in human relationships, it's easier to show me what's going on in the relationship with the Lord. Exactly the same. So: first to know. Learning takes time. It is impossible to know someone just based on his photographs on our profile - classroom or facebook. It is impossible to know him until the end even if the long hours will be talked through MSN, Skype or Msn. It never will be the same as a live meeting and the time to devote to this meeting. Man is a mystery. It is like an ocean, impenetrable, unfathomable. Hence, when from the beginning of knowledge is accompanied by the trust if it is the foundation, then there is a chance to really get to know the latter. Just a note, not through the prism of their own expectations, perceptions about someone, but naturally, simply, as it is one. In understanding the importance of listening. And not just what someone says verbal language, but also what it wants to communicate and transmit non-verbal language. Sometimes this is a language without words, a person shall communicate many important messages. Therefore, the count looks, gestures, behavior, in a word everything that is body language. And finally, someone wanting to know, well know, is important to understand the living environment of this person. Her home, family, environment. In theology Bible uses such words "sitz im leben" (literally "life habitat"). But what you need is trust. Well, because as you can invite someone to your home (or in your living space), who does not know, who do not know whether you can trust? Years ago someone told me inviting me to his apartment, it is an important gesture of trust and acceptance, which turns out to second. So much for the knowledge (not to be confused with the capital of Wielkopolska!). In short, this is just part of my theoretical - practical considerations. The impression that people today are based (Probably unfortunate) to "knowledge" on the Internet. It's safer, you can tell what's sentimental like that. To create the world in its sole discretion, personality, character, appearance. Live images. Living fiction. To time. People today often have a fear of meeting or knowing someone in the real world. And finally, when we wonder why relationships are unstable and fragile, is one of the answers, which suggests to me is that there was no time for good to know yourself. Consequently, as a toy when you get bored, you throw it in the corner. Only if the man should just throw? Such
here a handful of reflection on knowledge is the result of the July through Friday filled with interviews with Martin. Filled with knowledge in Ustroń Vistula River.
Saturday, July 4 car repaired. We go on tour. Breakfast in przesympatycznej Pierre ... ogarniiii passage in the newly built in the downtown, and after him Salmopol direction. It's one of those places where I was not very long. We parked autko and nice Mr Baca oscypek invited to enjoy the barbecue. I really like oscypki, and barbecue have their own unique taste. We go for a walk, look at the beautiful mountain panorama, breathe some air and talk Beskidzki. Once Tom in one of Sunday's sermons at Holy Trinity in Krakow, spoke of a "celebration of friendship." There was this phrase in my memory and heart. Beskydy feel 'welcomed me to talk. We talk about life, universities, people. We share experiences meetings.
I can think of reflection, which is a continuation of yesterday of cognition. This time ACCEPTANCE. This is the first step of any true love, friendship and camaraderie. Acceptance means the acceptance, approval the second as he is. Our perceptions of others are often unrealistic. We would like to know and love perfect people, perfect. "Nobody's Perfect" - is a sacred truth. So why do we seek perfection? Is that for sure because we want to be holy? Or maybe it's about something else. Not accepting ourselves, we seek in others what we do not suffer in himself ... For about a lack of self-acceptance could write a book. For almost 30 years I lived as a fat man over stukilogramowy (size XXL), or A Big Man. Do not reach me other messages that I am a good person. I wanted to be different. Today this has changed, very. However, in the consciousness of something left. Just as difficult to agree to some legitimate scars on the body. There are no perfect people. All we age, get sick, and despite the fact it is so difficult sometimes to accept yourself. Accept the second, the first accept yourself. Make friends with the second, then first make friends with yourself. Second love, first love yourself. Yes, exactly: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." Not for anything (especially for appearance). But for what it is. I know I am often very naive man. My naivete expressed in the fact that I believe with persistence maniac that such relationships and such acceptance is possible. Despite the fact that many times already burned in the life of this, however, I believe. Martin drew my attention (and rightly) that too often say about someone, "my friend", because true friends is a few (or maybe just one). Right. A friend is a word almost sacred, you can not squander it on the left and right. I frankly do not like that, so I do not know where it came from me. Thus, acceptance, adoption, consent to the second. The fruit of this attitude is a joy. Thinking about someone with joy, a sense of happiness that one exists. This is it, and the January Wojtyłowie: "Well, they are." For nothing. For the fact that you are. I do not want to stop believing in the possibility of such acceptance, the beginnings of real relationships. But Sam needs a much more correct in his way of looking at yourself and others ...
After lunch in the mountain hut and pictures of the White Cross back to the Retreat. Time for an evening Eucharist. Today, the group Children of Mary. Welcoming home the sisters, as usual, open and welcoming to everyone. Also, my guest tasted in these days of kindness and genuine hospitality Ustrori boromeuszek. This beautiful certificate, which his sister say and show what it really is Christianity ...
Saturday, July 5 In today Ustroń dog show. From early morning traffic jam on the streets. We arrive with a small slip in the Sunday Mass. The sisters tell me about the death of a priest from Retreat Fr. Zbyszko kid. He was only 54 years old. 24 years he worked in Argentina, with the poor people. A month ago he came to the funeral of his my own sister. A few days later they found him cancer. He retired soon ... We pray for the deceased missionary. It moves me, this death. It is a beautiful testimony to the priesthood.
several days with us s. Michalina. For 39 years she worked in Zambia. Worked on AIDS. Sister Serene, you can not see her face, neither shadow of discouragement and burnout. He has the spirit! He tells us today about Zambia, we can see the movie. Another beautiful testimony of life for others. Living for the Lord, who lives in another person. Ustroń
Last dialogues with Martin. Talked a lot of time in those days. Wonderful time. Even these days weather was beautiful. May finally be summer ...?
After learning and acceptance comes time to IMITATION, or Similarity. This is a simple consequence of friendship, love. We are created in the image and likeness of the Creator. One of His names is Love. This image and the reflection can be seen in every person who lives with God every day. We like our parents. We had something, and we and dad. Over the years, I feel it more and I find in myself more and more similarities to their parents. His wife is conformed to the husband, the husband to his wife. Conformed to a friend friend. The more living together. The more honest relationship unites people, the more people start to look alike. By way of expression, dress, culture, language, behavior, etc.. And I have a feeling that accompanies being conformed such feeling as though all the time the latter was close, was next, at your fingertips, even if they are being quite a distance, even thousands of miles. In the beautiful and true friendship every encounter is a joy, even if for a long time there was no occasion to talk, do not feel the absence at the time of the meeting. In such a relationship is full of confidence. I finally understand a man without words and felt without words, what happens in another and another.
Discover - love - to imitate, so St. Ignatius of Loyola in his "Spiritual Exercises" leading man in the life of Jesus Christ. This is a beautiful way of relationships. It is believed that it is possible, despite sometimes the opposite situation ... I probably still worth the risk. It is, even if it may seem naive ... And it also helps to understand what it means to love God, love Him and how to follow Him ...
The publishing house "Unity" from Kielce released book by Thomas Romanus, pt. "Thank you for the moments of happiness." Someone replied with a pen, "and I hope that this beginning of a beautiful friendship" ... Without this hope is not worth living. So, you believe that hope is fulfilled, and fulfilled. Thanks, Martin!
evening, Fr. Wojtek Janusz and together with his wife and with Slawek from Bielsko have looked to snatch me from these great reflection and sit under one of many in Ustroń umbrella. It also needed to live a normal life and not go crazy.
evening, an avalanche of SMS with Fr. X. I want to leave the priesthood ... I find it hard to sleep with the burden of thinking about X. This is a good man and priest.
Monday, July 6 Treatment penultimate day. Morning blood collection. After treatments, exercise. I think now about how to schedule a time when you return. I need to get down to hard work. Write that dissertation, complete this step.
After lunch, visiting my close friends from his native village. For many years I am from their home. I feel there is always warmly received. Together they spent afternoon, Mass. and evening snack trout fish, give us all an opportunity to relax and fully take them. I can see how, after years of getting better I feel in my village family climates, among people who are not only my homies, but they are my life, environment and growth.
Mass. of repose of the soul of Fr. Zbyszko. Turn it in a prayer for Fr. X.
Year priesthood ...
Tuesday, July 7 last day of treatment. Last walk my training route on the Vistula. Interview with director of rehabilitation. Important advice for me how and what to practice on. Still one month to the sternum and fusion of Nordic Walking, will be a good form of exercise. Important systematic motivation: FOR YOU. This time for yourself.
Completion will be tomorrow ...
